Being Still and Quiet

Let’s talk about silent struggles for a minute! 

In today’s society, we get so caught up in what looks •perfect•. We want our social media photos to be edited and “filtered” until they look worthy of being on a magazine cover. We want to be the mom who serves restaurant quality meals to our families. We want to create Pinterest worthy crafts and projects for our homes. We want to do all of these things (and more). But, the reality is, rather we openly admit it or not, we all struggle silently with different adversaries each and every day. This makes successfully completing the above list absolutely absurd.

Your silent adversary may be an autoimmune disease, a mental health struggle, diabetes, pain, grief, fatigue, or one of the many other things we tend to hide and conceal behind the smiles on our faces. But, what happens when your silent struggle appears and takes over your life?

This photo is during a flare of my own silent struggle, conversion disorder. This particular flare affected both sides of my body, paralyzing my face and producing an inability to smile.

A few months ago, I was diagnosed with conversion disorder. It’s a neurological disorder occurring when the functional part of our brain functions improperly. I’m learning that it affects everyone differently, and is triggered in a plethora of ways. Most days, it stays hidden and undetected in my life. But, some days, it appears suddenly and cannot be controlled.

When I am in the midst of a flare, my face becomes paralyzed, my speech becomes distorted, and my hands tingle. Sometimes, I struggle to move my arms and legs. My brain becomes foggy and I experience extreme fatigue. 

It’s so easy to get lost in a pit of self-pity, bitterness, and frustration. It’s so easy to lose myself in worry and anger because I haven’t received a successful treatment plan.

Yet, it’s in those moments I learn to be still. I learn to focus completely on Jesus and the will of the Father. I learn to listen intently for guidance and how to rest completely in Him.

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

We don’t have to know all of the answers to the situations we are facing. We don’t have to strive to reach unrealistic expectations set by this world. We don’t have to worry about tomorrow. We don’t have to hide our struggles. We simply have to BE STILL and trust that He is God.

Whatever your silent struggle is today friend, know that He has it all in His hands. Lay your worries aside. Take a break and trust Him. Lay aside the need to be perfect and learn to appreciate the still, small moments. Sometimes, it may mean serving frozen pizza to your family for dinner! And, guess what? It’s ok! I promise it won’t hurt them!

Head to your local Walmart and grab the Totino’s party pack for $4.88. You can thank me later. 🙂

We aren’t called to be perfect. We are just called to be present.

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