I have a new friend.
He follows me everywhere I go. I try to make him leave, but he always reappears at the door. Sometimes, he’s even in the shower with me reminding me that it’s been two days since I’ve washed my hair. He sleeps in the same bed as I do, infiltrating my dreams with vivid visions that make no sense, which can be very uncomfortable for my husband and I. He rides in the car beside me and points out every single car that slightly crosses into my line or decides to turn in front of me with no blinker. He stands with me while I cook dinner and feed the animals, and whispers negative thoughts in my ear. He’s right beside me when I’m helping with homework, looking for the right opportunity to make me feel annoyed with my child. I mean, I CANNOT, get him to leave.
He gets in the middle of my relationships and causes worry and fear to linger. Sometimes, he tells me I’m not good enough and I should have accomplished more during the day. He expects a certain level of perfection and keeps the wheels turning in my brain until that level of perfection is attained. He causes my body to sometimes shut down completely. Its frustrating when he makes my body tremor from head to toe, causes my limbs to go numb and weak, and removes my ability to speak. He causes fear to rush over my family members as they watch me lay in bed unable to function. Yet, there my friend ALWAYS is, waiting for me to rise every single morning so he can interrupt my daily routine.
Who is this friend, you ask? He has lots of “nicknames”. Some refer to him as “generalized anxiety disorder” or “panic attack”. Others refer to him as “conversion disorder” or “functional neurological disorder”. And, some can’t seem to give him a name because he’s so random!
But, his name really isn’t important to me. His identity, thoughts, and actions don’t define me. You see, I have a BEST friend, who is much more powerful than this new friend. My best friend is with me in everything I do, just like this new, annoying friend. Except, my best friend is different. He doesn’t cause worry and grief. He doesn’t cause my body to quit functioning properly. He doesn’t send negative thoughts and whispers into my mind. He can control my mind, just like my new friend, but He does it with peace and joy.
What’s my best friend’s name, you wonder?
He has lots of nicknames too. Let’s name just a few:
• Prince of Peace
• King of Kings
• The Beginning and the End
• Rock of Ages
But, my favorite name for Him is FRIEND. I met Him when I was 12 and chose to have Him spend His days with me. I didn’t choose my new friend, but I chose, and still choose, Jesus.
His name matters to me because He determines my identity. He tells me I am chosen. He tells me I am worthy. He tells me I am enough. He tells me I don’t have to be perfect. He tells me I’m forgiven.
And, when my new friend is more than I can bear, and physically takes over my body’s well-being, Jesus goes to battle for me. I may spend a few days, or weeks at a time, resting, but I’m letting Jesus fight my battle because I know when I am weak, He is strong.
Do you have a best friend like my Jesus? If not, I’d love to chat with you about the abundant life He came to this Earth to give YOU and I. He’s waiting and willing to be your best friend too!