New Year Ramblings

2019 was HARD! My physical health was tested. My mental health was tested. My marriage and parenting were testing. My faith was tested. There’s no way to disguise the fact that it was just plain HARD!

But, 2019 was also so GOOD! I got to watch my husband step up and be the man God designed him to be. I’ve listened to him pray over me, argue with doctors and nurses over my health, and plead my case over and over. I’ve watched him hold my hand, shed a few tears, and be the bigger person more times than I can count. I’ve watched him reassure our kiddo that momma would be ok and that God was going to make it all right.

I watched my daughter turn into the bravest young girl I know. She has matured so much this year. I’ve also watched her confidence grow by leaps and bounds this past year.

I’ve watched my cute nephews grow up right before my eyes and made some of the best memories with them.

I followed God’s calling and stepped away from a career I thought I loved, and discovered I could be just as fulfilled by being a stay at home mom.

I found a new little crafting hobby that has kept my mind busy and introduced me to so many new people.

I’ve learned that going to and talking about therapy is ok! I’ve found that talking openly about mental health is ok, and necessary, in today’s society. The stigma surrounding mental health treatment has to end and I would love to be the person to help build that cause.

I’ve seen that old friendships are the best ones and will always be worth rekindling.

I’ve watched loved ones pass away that we thought would be here much longer than they were.

I’ve learned that some people only “love you” for what you can do for them, not who you are. I’ve also learned it’s ok to distance myself from those people to focus on myself, my family, and my own journey.

I’ve learned that when everyone else walks away, my family will be always be there to pick me up and love on me.

I’ve discovered that my worth is NOT found in how much I work, how much I do for others, how many things I find to keep myself busy (even within the church walls), or the number of things I can check off of a to do list or resume. But, my worth, and my joy, is found in who He says I am. I am loved, worthy, chosen, a friend, redeemed, a temple, and set free.

So, here’s to hoping 2020 is the year of health, physically, mentally, and spiritually.

Here’s to making 2020 a year of learning to be still and intentional, focusing on being the woman God designed me to be, not the woman others think God made me to be.

Here’s to dropping the veil of perfectionism and learning to embrace the messy, with Jesus right beside me.