Where is God now? 

Alone in the still and quiet, tears begin flowing, and your mind starts racing, yet no thought sticks except…

Where is God now? 

The God I learned about in Sunday School was a God of love, a God of miracles, a God who saves! Where is that God now? I’ve been told His Word is true through eternity.   If that is so, how did He let this happen to me?

Where is His love? Where is His miracle? Where is His salvation? 

 {Admit it} At some point in time, we have all sheltered these thoughts, these doubts, these fears in the back room of our hearts. Inevitably we all have faced a season in life where God didn’t seem to exist. It felt as if He were too busy elsewhere to comfort us or hear our needs!

For me, that time has come twice in recent years. The first was during the birth of Kynlee. How could a God who loved me let me endure this? Didn’t He understand my passion was to be a mother? I strongly desired to have more than one child. I wanted to be able to have the chance to give my husband a son and my father a grandson. I wanted to be able to fulfill their dreams and to have several children! Yet, I almost lost my first born child and now I’m told I cannot physically have anymore? Isn’t God a God of miracles? Couldn’t He perform a miracle and just give us another child? 

The 2nd time I felt these thoughts was much more recent. In July of this year our family lost a precious woman. My first cousin passed away in a terrible tragedy, leaving behind three grieving children, a torn mother, two heart broken sisters, and a family crushed by grief.  Our family was devastated! How could God allow this to happen? Couldn’t He have saved her? If He had just reached out, she would still be here! It isn’t fair for those kids to live their lives without their mother’s love and touch. It isn’t fair for a mom to have to plan the funeral of her first born. It isn’t fair for two sisters to have to learn to live without talking to their big sis each day. It isn’t fair for a family to be left with so many questions. Where’s God’s love now?

During both of those times, I felt I had lost my joy! How can you be joyful when your world is falling apart? How do you cry out to a God who seems to have forgotten you? 

Yet, there in the stillness, this hymn came to mind….


Three simple words {Because He lives}! That’s it! My soul didn’t need a miracle, or a savior, or a new love! It already contained all I needed to restore my joy. Paul tells us in Phillipians that to live is Christ. I like to say loving Christ is to live. Not only because He lives can I face tomorrow, but because He lives in Me, all fear is gone! 


Although the tears still flow and my heart still breaks, I am able to go on living joyfully because my Hope is Anchored in Him. Jesus alone can heal, can restore, and can refresh! Although our plans don’t always match up with His, He promises to be with us every step of the way.  

I don’t think we ever get past tragedies and scarring memories in our lives. But, we have a choice! We can use each memory as a crutch to stay hidden in our own corner, pushing God and all others away, or we can use each memory as chance to glorify Him! Undoubtedly in every situation, He has a greater purpose! Are you willing to trust in Him and let Him use you? Are you willing to give your grief, your fear, your sadness to Jesus?

He simply asks ::: Come to me all you who are weary and heavy burdened, and I will give you rest.  — Matthew 11:28

Jesus, I humbly and boldly ask you to bless those of us traveling through a scary and unknown place of grief or sadness.  It may seem as if all hope, all joy, and all comfort has forsaken us. Oh, how easy it is to hide from you and grieve alone. But, we know you are the Great Physician! Only you can heal us. I ask that you would give us courage and strength to face our trials head on and live victoriously through you. I know you have a purpose and plan for each of us and I am trusting you to restore our joy and reveal yourself to us. In Jesus’ precious name I call…..Amen! 

💛 Happy Trails! – Rachel 

2 thoughts on “Where is God now? ”

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